We use this phrase all of the time. Does it really hurt? I think it's just grief. And grief hurts. I think when we realize that we have been living some sort of lie or delusion we grieve that. Absolutely. There are more layers to it and more complexities I'm sure.
My thoughts today and the past week or so have been on a different interpretation of this concept that the truth hurts. I have had a wicked, wicked tongue this past week. I know, I know those of you who know me would never believe that but it's true. My truth telling tongue delivered a few lashings this week that are still stinging today. Whether not it's as bad as I imagine or not it was still something that I actually do not regret.
Once upon a time I felt bad for letting people have it, holding their feet to the fire. I would apologize after getting upset and then take the blame. Bullshit!!! The only thing I was sorry about was the way it was delivered. You know how it goes. You get so upset and bottle it up that when it blows, it blows. I would feel bad! Lame. The only thing I needed to learn was to tell people right up front, not bottle it up.
Well, this current lashing incident actually started a few months back. After having a passive aggressive moment with someone (them toward me), I promptly stated that I would have no part of this and they needed to tell me who spoke to them about me and then I would go talk to them. I stated this was unacceptable. I thought that was warning enough. Apparently it wasn't.
It hadn't happened again for about a month and then little by little incidents began to happen and I let them go unchecked, thinking to myself that I didn't need to engage the behavior. Well, I erupted a few days ago. I find lying unacceptable. I detest it. I hate backbiting as well. Don't do it.
Anyway, this week, my truth did hurt. It hurt someone else. Am I ok with that? Fuck yes. Do I wish it were done less harshly? No. It was done via messenger so it was way less intense than had I done it in person. My truth didn't hurt me. It was fucking liberating!!! I felt amazing for not feeling guilty and taking the blame. Finally! I spoke up for myself and didn't feel guilty!!! FUCK YEAH!!!