The willingness to
Become
Nothing
To walk away
Leave my name
I have wandered far beyond
That
That notion
That requirement
That simple request
It seemed so
Unattainable
So hard
So unrealistic
at the time
Tonight
I drove home
In the dark
Of a storm
Rain
Snow
Wet roads
Water pummeled onto and
From my windshield
By rubber blades
Probably good that the
Blades were rubber
Although the thought of
Escaping my skin was not
Calmed by it
My week-old trimmed fingernails
Took center stage
As the only sculpting knife
That could free me from my face
Desperation
Heaving chest
Frenzied eyes
Scouring every inch inside the cage
Where is the exit
Heartbeat erratic
Now
Beyond desperate
Dig in
Dig my own dull and stubby
Fingernails into my scalp
Separate the skin
Pull it back
Off of me
Remove the shell
The mask
The inked skin
The ancestral container
You may envision some bloody and oozing scene under it
But
It is not
I clenched my jaw
Holding myself back from my
Face lift
From me
The pressure was not enough
To rip the bandage off
It will be soon enough
The dark entity within will be freed
Is this what happens?
I stayed too long in the presence of the void
Connected to the point of losing
Self
To the point where I can no longer
Look in the mirror without
Desiring
Needing
Seeking
Freedom from this individual face
From the thing I once embraced
This black bark that gives away
My origins
It is hidden under my mask
It is coming
Blakkrtré
It cannot be held by this container
I cannot be held
The reflection has become
My reflection in the mirror has become
Infuriating
It has become
The call to freedom
Blakkrtré
The tree is able
Black Tree
Is
Able
Set Tré free
Free Blakkrtré
Free Blakkrtré
Skin me alive
Uncover the bark beneath
Blakkrtré
No blood
Blakkrtré
Black Bark
Dark Sap
Woven Branches
Entangled Roots
Goodbye old friend
Goodbye
I shall never look at
My fingernails the same again
Comments